Fretting
Before you all get worried, I'm only just mildly stressing abuot my Ikkyu grading in March. Not because I know I can't do it (I damn well know that I can) it's just one of those things that's making me a tad conserned.
Don't ask me why - I've done worse things before and not been as worried but this is something I've never done before and I'm kinda in that phase of 'what if?'. Kallers don't think I'm going to go over board (that applies to you too baka ^_~) and I'm not going to get overly stressed about it cause I have learnt plently from experiece that if I manage to mess it up and get it all wrong and not perfect in any manner before I go for the damn thing, I'll eventually reach a certain point where I'll just go 'fuck it' or won't actually care what happens or something totally similar or unrelated and I'll just do it and hope for the best.
I warn those who are going with me that I will be highly nervouse - I already am - and probably won't be my usual loud and genki sense. Remember back when I first started and I was quite withdrawn and quiet - actually I wasn't as bad as I used to be so imagin me about ten times worse and you'll have a vauge idea.
Still anyway, despite me going on a 'oh-my-god-i'm-worrying-about-something-that's-over-a-month-away' mode, Kendo was really good fun. Now that's probably got you going 'EH?' but it's me. We got to pratice men cuts and go through the old circits which was a good break in for me - since I missed last week - and quite fun.
Then we cut off and did grading pratice, didn't do the kata which is the mega bit I need to know cause I don't know it and if I fail at that I can pratically say goodbye to the grading - yeah that's got me a tad worried as well - but we've got four weeks so I can nab Darren and demand it if we don't do it. Found out that my heal was actually too high for what I was supposed to be doing - which doggered me all night afterwards - but it's tricky cause normally people don't correct it for me so I've got four weeks to do so, and got reminded of how to spot cuts and take advantage of Mark cause he keeps doing the same things over again but it'll make me look good which is the best bit about it.
Enshin this week was pretty fun, bar I kept on thinking about my footwork when I shouldn't have been, and I faced off against Mark twice (I think) and the brown haired new kid (I will learn his name once Darren starts yelling at him more) and he did three men (head) cuts in a row, missed all of them and hit both shoulders in sequence of right, left, right. Had a laugh with Mark afterwards about the bouncy styles - cause the newer ones are at that sorta half-bouncy stage of should I really be doing this yet and can I take that point stage and the fact that when I'm on good/top form I actually bounce on the balls of my feet when I'm fighting - which according to Mark is a pain cause I keep moving. *shrugs* I didn't get the chance to ask Kamo - btw hows them jackets coming on Kamo-kun?
Heh there we go, fretting rant over and I feel much better for it. Probably a few more of these to come but they'll be just to make me feel better. (though hugs are appricated)
Don't ask me why - I've done worse things before and not been as worried but this is something I've never done before and I'm kinda in that phase of 'what if?'. Kallers don't think I'm going to go over board (that applies to you too baka ^_~) and I'm not going to get overly stressed about it cause I have learnt plently from experiece that if I manage to mess it up and get it all wrong and not perfect in any manner before I go for the damn thing, I'll eventually reach a certain point where I'll just go 'fuck it' or won't actually care what happens or something totally similar or unrelated and I'll just do it and hope for the best.
I warn those who are going with me that I will be highly nervouse - I already am - and probably won't be my usual loud and genki sense. Remember back when I first started and I was quite withdrawn and quiet - actually I wasn't as bad as I used to be so imagin me about ten times worse and you'll have a vauge idea.
Still anyway, despite me going on a 'oh-my-god-i'm-worrying-about-something-that's-over-a-month-away' mode, Kendo was really good fun. Now that's probably got you going 'EH?' but it's me. We got to pratice men cuts and go through the old circits which was a good break in for me - since I missed last week - and quite fun.
Then we cut off and did grading pratice, didn't do the kata which is the mega bit I need to know cause I don't know it and if I fail at that I can pratically say goodbye to the grading - yeah that's got me a tad worried as well - but we've got four weeks so I can nab Darren and demand it if we don't do it. Found out that my heal was actually too high for what I was supposed to be doing - which doggered me all night afterwards - but it's tricky cause normally people don't correct it for me so I've got four weeks to do so, and got reminded of how to spot cuts and take advantage of Mark cause he keeps doing the same things over again but it'll make me look good which is the best bit about it.
Enshin this week was pretty fun, bar I kept on thinking about my footwork when I shouldn't have been, and I faced off against Mark twice (I think) and the brown haired new kid (I will learn his name once Darren starts yelling at him more) and he did three men (head) cuts in a row, missed all of them and hit both shoulders in sequence of right, left, right. Had a laugh with Mark afterwards about the bouncy styles - cause the newer ones are at that sorta half-bouncy stage of should I really be doing this yet and can I take that point stage and the fact that when I'm on good/top form I actually bounce on the balls of my feet when I'm fighting - which according to Mark is a pain cause I keep moving. *shrugs* I didn't get the chance to ask Kamo - btw hows them jackets coming on Kamo-kun?
Heh there we go, fretting rant over and I feel much better for it. Probably a few more of these to come but they'll be just to make me feel better. (though hugs are appricated)
1 Comments:
At 1:29 pm,
Mamo-Chan said…
I think we're due a Walnut update! I wanna know how you're doing and what you've been up to and stuff. How you've been feeling and all that other lot. TELL ME!!!
//you want to update//
.
.
.
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My Jedi Mind Tricks don't seem to work! Damnit.
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